Yvette The Coach M.A., CMLC, CDC Master Life Coach, Narcissistic Emotional Abuse Expert & Certified Divorce Coach

Do you ever wonder if you are the only one in your socio-economic realm being abused?

I can tell you right now, YOU ARE NOT

Do you feel like the narcissistic NPD, HPD, BPD, emotional, gaslighting, manipulative, and controlling abuser in your world is an average person or are they a high-profile, upscale earner, in your community? Does everyone think this narcissist, this abusive person is somehow special, quite charming and more sophisticated, while you know they are the cruelest, most unkind, abusive, gaslighting, ego-maniac, often porn addicted, sex addicted, alcohol addicted, biggest monsters anyone could ever know? Your hair is falling out, your mouth is dry all the time, they deny you sleep that you so desperately need, they gaslight you until you are so exasperated you are ready to pull THEIR hair out! They coerce you for sex after they’ve said the most hideous things anyone has ever said to you, and then they arrange a fabulous vacation for the two or you or the family. They feel no remorse and will never hear you or understand your feelings. (Actually they do hear you and they do understand you. They just don’t care, but that’s another lesson).

What I do

Narcissistic/emotional abuse support coaching counseling for targets/victims of people with Personality Disorders: NPD (narcissistic personality disorder, HPD (histrionic personality disorder), BPD (borderline personality disorder), Bi-polar disorder, Depression, Manipulators, Gaslighters, Hostile partners, IPV (intimate partner violence).

What do you know about Narcissistic Abuse, Gaslighting, Manipulation, IPV, DV?

My guess is those around you believe that if you are not being punched in the face or choked, then you are not being abused. 

Take this free training video to learn more.

So you've never been punched in the face. I'll bet you've been blocked by his physical body from leaving a room that you desperately wanted to get out of to get away from him...

Who are these extremely hostile, financially successful, high-profile, narcissistic, bi-polar, histrionic abusers, these big babies, these big bullies, these porn addicted, sex addicted, rage addicted, alcohol addicted, pill popping, domestic violence (DV), intimate partner violence (IPV) perpetrators?

Ahhh, here is where it becomes so tricky. These egregious monsters, if true narcissists, can be anyone, and they are often adored and praised in the community. And… they are quite financially successful and of a high-profile such as: CEOs, Investment Bankers, High-Profile Lawyers, Judges, Surgeons, Politicians, Clergy, Entertainers, Actors, Singers, Musicians, Successful Business Owners, Board Chairs, Managing Partners, School Superintendents, Police Officers, Police Chiefs, Fire Chiefs and Firefighters, Judges, News Casters or anyone who seeks lots of attention and spot lights of various sorts. Surprised? Well you are not alone. Many people think abusers are those of misfortune. That is not true of narcissists. They enjoy grand opportunities, the highest profile, and affluence. Not all of them have the full personality disorder, NPD. But the ones who do usually have several personality disorders or traits along with bi-polar depression, OCD, anxiety, disorderly eating, and addiction to just about anything they do.

Narcissistic abusers hate good communicators. Narcissists see them as a threat. How dare people be better at something than the narcissist! They must divide and conquer. Narcissistic abusers will communicate with their superiors at work but not with their personal partners. Personal partners are for service only. Narcissistic abusers do not communicate and/or co—operate with personal partners. If they appear to be, don’t be fooled. You are being manipulated for future service.

“A good relationship test is how a person responds to the word 'NO.' Love respects 'No.' Control does not.” - - Dr. Henry Cloud

Gaslighting Abuse

Gaslighting is a psychological, emotional form of abuse, a specific type of manipulation that is corrosive, incendiary. It is designed to erode the self-efficacy of the target. The power the abuser wields in… 

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Financial Abuse & Dependence

Money is power in the lives of the narcissistic abuser. The abuser will often inflict the inequities of finances to gain control in the relationship. This age old tactic…

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Narcissistic Cycle of Abuse

The Cycle of Abuse has 3 stages or phases. The narcissistic and/or histrionic cycle has an additional stage: The Eerie Calm – Extracting Empathy phase. The cycle goes round and…

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Coerced Sex

Coerced sex is an often overlooked abuse when it is happening in a so-called “relationship.” It is part of IPV and is detrimental to the wellness of the target. The target is bullied, guilted and shamed into accepting…

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Smothering

Smothering is an exhausting side effect of the NPD and/or HPD abuser. The target becomes convinced — via the abuser’s deliberate lack of respect — that the abuser doesn’t understand or “get” boundaries. This is a tremendous…

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Isolation

Isolation is utilized by the abuser over time so that the target doesn’t get an encompassing view of the abuser’s agenda. It is one of the most favored manipulation tactics of abusers other than gaslighting. Isolating provides the abuser with immense…

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Loving the Narcissistic Abuser Will Make YOU Disappear

Are you more concerned about leaving him helpless than feeling well yourself?

First, I want to remind you that the narcissistic abuser is never helpless. They will replace you! Please remember that. All that worrying about them is a way for your ego to keep you from focusing on YOU and addressing YOU and your life. Have you lost the ability to make simple decisions with confidence? Does nothing bring you joy anymore? Have you dove in to your kids lives because you can’t focus on you anymore? You are disappearing and the narcissistic abuser loves this! You must get the focus back on you!

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Loving the Narcissistic Abuser Will Make YOU Disappear

First, I want to remind you that the narcissistic abuser is never helpless. They will replace you! Please remember that. All that worrying about them is a way for your ego to keep you from focusing on YOU and addressing YOU and your life. Have you lost the ability to make simple decisions with confidence? Does nothing bring you joy anymore? Have you dove in to your kids life because you can’t focus on you anymore? You are disappearing and the narcissistic abuser loves this! You must get the focus back on you!

On another note, while we’re at it here, your partner’s romantic biological needs are never YOUR responsibility, ever, for any reason. The responsibility is theirs. Always. It is THEIR responsibility to create a healthy and well environment that fosters those romantic biological needs getting met, and if they are incapable of that, well…that certainly is not of problem of yours! They have to figure it out, and not on your time. And same for you. Remember this. You are not on this planet to serve them, and serve them no matter what they do to you. 

The narcissistic abuser has never been concerned about you or your feelings. He has never worried about you feeling sad. He has never worried about how much pain he is causing you. He has never worried about the damage his drunken and not drunken rages have done to your psyche, your self-efficacy, your well-being, and very soul. So it is time for you to stop being concerced about them! Oh, I know he tells you his whole world is about you. He will especially play this card when you tell him he is being hurtful to you. No way he’s going to take responsibility for his behavior. He boo-hoos with conviction, “How can you say I am hurtful or cruel when I provide you with every luxury in the world? And…

Let's Talk Finances and Divorcing a Narcissist (NPD) or a Histrionic (HPD)!

Money is everything in these situations. Ok. Did I just make you shudder? I’m sorry about that. Yes, money is the whole big deal. The biggest and best way for someone with personality disorders to get control over you is by threatening to take away your financial security. Whew! It makes my hair stand on end just writing it. Losing your financial security disrupts the entire ecological system of your life. What did you just think of when you read “entire ecological system?” Abusers absolutely revel in the expansive disruption of every aspect of your being the economic abuse affords them. You completely and profoundly out of balance is like the Mardi Gras to these abusers. They debilitate you and rescue you. Debilitate, rescue. Whomever has the most money in the relationship has the best shot at the power. Equal partnership? I know no man who truly wants this. This doesn’t mean there are no male genders who will play by equality rules. Some will. Not many really want to. What abusers really want is you drug down into a chaotic mess so you can’t leave them and they can feed on you. It will never change. Kids or no kids…get out. I can help. Schedule with me up top in the right hand corner. 

See what people are saying about

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What people are saying

I desperately needed someone to talk to that truly understood narcissistic emotional abuse and what it does to a person over time. I broke free and was hoping to feel so much better but when I didn't I really wanted to understand why. Yvette The Coach has a way of identifying what I could not or would not so that I could help to motivate myself to do my wellness practice each day and stay focused on me and not seek love and acceptance outside of myself. It's so hard for me to do but I have gotten myself back on track and I am doing so much better. Just sessioning with Yvette and her light and energy helps me know that I will be ok.
S.L.Teacher
"I kept getting sucked back in to a narcissistic relationship until I found Yvette The Coach and her program. It was a little pricey for me but I will never regret it EVER! I just didn't understand the narc thing. I thought I could never get free of it. Now I so get it! And the support keeps me aware. Many thanks to Yvette The Coach and her program. Her approach is like nothing I've ever had before. She gets it! Totally! Thanks to her I am passed the struggle and free forever."
Kate W.Social Worker
"I am just so excited about having a coach and being involved in such a fantastic and simple plan! I lost 17 pounds! I had been in a rut for so long and could not drop down under 130 lbs for forever it seemed. I had given up. Then I met Yvette. Her sustainability coaching and her weight loss programs are just a no brainer. I'm not craving sweets at all! I have told everyone about how good this whole process has been."
Jill F.Tai Chi Instructor
"Yvette is one of the most positive and engaging people that I have had the pleasure of getting to know. She always has a way of helping put things into the best perspective to keep you moving forward towards your goals. Her coaching allowed me to focus on what my priorities are and to let go of the things that prevent me from focusing on those goals. Yvette is a creative and high energy person who I am confident to recommend to anyone who needs coaching."
Cara L.Banker
"Yvette The Coach is my coach and I want to tell the world how fantastic she is! She is very patient with me. I am so excited to have finished my first week. It's about confidence and better sleep and better interaction with people. I am so blessed to have met my coach."
Dennis N.Attorney
Yvette The Coach's knowledge about how to get narcissistic abuse out of your life forever and how to recover is just phenomenal. I never believed I could get over the pain until Yvette. Her knowledge of NPD and her special skills and abilities to help the victims move forward is very powerful. She is the answer.
Brenda P.RN
"I hadn't realized that I learned to be an enabler from my mother. We didn't even know what this narc type behavior was. My mother was always trying to keep the peace and then that is exactly what I was doing. Yvette The Coach and her program really opened my eyes! I have narcs in my family and I didn't even know it! I am so on my way to my perfect calm and getting myself back again. I am very excited. Thank you Yvette the coach!"
Deb D.Trainer
"Oh my gosh! I am so glad I met you Yvette! You have absolutely changed my life! I am so excited about your sustainability coaching and programs and your techniques and tools and all of this! I'm not hungry! I'm not craving! I am energized and planning out my new life with my coach -- something I never really thought I wanted but am sooo glad I have given it a try. Yvette, you moved me out of a rut I had been in for too long! Thank you!"
Cheryl S.Realtor
"Being a Pilot has its challenges for keeping a healthy schedule, finding quality food at decent times, and maintaining regular physical activity. I was in a rut with trying to put this together in a way that I could sustain. I am feeling great! And now I'm engaged to be married. Broke through the rut and sustaining easily. Just following your lead."
Mark G.Pilot
“It has been a challenge, but Yvette The Coach -- my super skilled -- certified life and health coach, has been wonderfully supportive, informative, helpful, and amazing -- she has the structure and the action steps, and the skill to keep me executing my plan. She inspires the motivation to incorporate healthier habits and financial wellness and...she's a wealth of information... read more"
Helen H.College Principal
John DoeCEO
Yvette has provided a wealth of information and insight into divorcing a person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). She provided great details, support, and answered many of the disturbing questions that I had regarding the behavior of those with the disorder. Yvette The Coach also offered suggestions of how to cope, protect myself, children, and my assets from the financially criminal behavior I was experiencing. She has given me the confidence to assert myself and protect what I have in order to continue the unfortunate circumstance of divorcing a narcissist. I am so fortunate to have found Yvette.
Gina GNurse PhD
Yvette - you’re the best! Thank you so much. I do read over your emails frequently so I don’t fall back into old patterns (emotionally) - I feel very very detached from narcissists now which feels GREAT!!
D.H.Self Employed
Yvette The Coach has changed so much for me. I aways feel so much better after talking with her. Her knowledge with NPD is exceptional. I am still learning about emotional abuse and growing a lot. I could not have done this without Yvette. I am so grateful for her.
T. WillamsNursing student
What can I say...it's just been such a huge relief. It is so wonderful to talk with someone who so completely gets narcissistic emotional abuse and the effects on your life. I get stronger as each week goes by. Yvette is a life saver.
V. O.Retired Teacher
Wow! I don't know where I would be without this woman. The depth of gratitude I feel for how she has helped me with this terrible relationship I have endured for 25 years is indescribable sometimes. I find it hard to articulate the clarity she has given me about my husband, myself, both of our families and the destructive nature of allowing these types of relationships to go on unaddressed. Thank you, thank you, Yvette The Coach for all your knowledge, understanding, tools, inspiration, support and love. You get this disorder like no one and nothing I have seen online anywhere. I can't believe I got out of the house and have taken a stand. This would not have ever happened without you Yvette! Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
D.H. Self-Employed
I hadn't really thought about any kind of group support until I stumbled upon Yvette The Coach's group. It has been such an insightful way to deal with being narcissistically abused. Her insight and ability to engage the group has been so helpful for me. I can really see clearly now how the abuse was killing me slowly and how I kept trying to manage everything instead of breaking away from it. Now I am away and this group support really keeps me in line and realizing I can never let the crazies back in to my life again. I highly recommend joining her group!
A.A.Retired
All I can say is join Yvette The Coache's group! What a life saver, changer she is.
K. W. Admin
Yvette The Coach's expertise in narcissistic and emotional abuse is just fantastic. Is so amazing to finally be heard and understood. She has opened my eyes and taught me how to focus on myself, my needs and what I actually want. I can't thank her enough.
S.L.Teacher
I have been going through a horrible divorce for over 2 and 1/2 years. I didn't know where to start. I googled help for divorcing a narcissist, and I was so fortunate to have found Yvette. She was a godsend. She also is a financial advisor and helped me crunch the numbers to understand what the court will look at in order to prepare me for the hearings, etc. Yvette made me stronger, and not feel victimized. She informed me how lucky I was to be free of the controlling, manipulating person that ruined me mentally, emotionally, physically, and financially. With Yvette's help, I am able to move on and try to salvage what little I have left including relationships with my children. Yvette could play an essential part for anyone divorcing a narcissist or in a difficult, financially devastating divorce. Yvette's the best!
JNurse Practitioner
Yvette was very helpful, she completely understood the narcissistic personality. Friends and family, even therapists, who have not lived with a narcissist don't understand and, while well-meaning, they often don't give good advice. Many people have no idea to what degree they are being manipulated; they are charmed by the narcissist and may think that you are the one who is being unreasonable. Not Yvette, she knows what's going on! I would highly recommend her as a coach to anyone who suffers from being in a narcissistic relationship. She can help you to escape!
Maria J.Teacher
Yvette helped me have the strength to verbalize my feelings about issues that I was living through and admit to myself that I would have to remove myself from my situation if I were to ever heal and gain my peace. The privilege I have lived in caused me to become accustomed to that lifestyle. My narcissist had me convinced that I would be destitute if I left him after 32 years of marriage. Yvette The Coach showed me the error in my thinking and how he had brainwashed me into thinking he could ruin me financially if I left. He was sooo wrong about the power he thought he wielded, and I was so wrong to get convinced. Yvette taught me how to stand up to him. 32 years of abuse was enough. I was entitled to half of my 32 years of marriage financials and I got it. Yvette taught me about how to get the focus on me, and my worthiness, and what processes I needed to do, action steps I need to do in order to focus on me. She has the experience and knowledge that I needed to process the situation and get what was mine. He had me believing I deserved nothing after serving his pathetic self for 32 years. I am so grateful for Yvette's help. I was so beat down. I could not make the simplest decisions. I could not have moved forward on my own. Yvette will guide you. Believe me, you will NEVER regret getting out! Go for it under Yvette The Coach's support. You will find a whole new life and never look back.
Mary SHomemaker
Your therapist probably isn't working for you. Mine wasn't working for me. They don't get it. They are trained to help you better communicate. That is not possible with narcissists. They won't communicate with you, ever! Let that go. Yvette The Coach will so thoroughly support you and understand completely what you are dealing with. She will not try to "help" you better communicate. She is precise! She will give you the exact tools for dealing with these hideous people and you will be done with them forever. I can't recommend Yvette The Coach enough.
Ashley GBusiness Owner
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Yvette The Coach Programs...

The Prosperity Practice

It’s time to get the focus on you. You have spent so much time managing the horrible abuser, you have disappeared. What do you really want after all of this? What…

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Tarot Readings

After all the cruelty, chaos, hostility, PTSD, guilt, & blame…you are probably exhausted & ready for some insight, comfort, healing, support, listening, love, & maybe even a mission or purpose. The Tarot is here for us, ready & open to our questions whenever we ask. Whether we seek guidance, validation, support, or just think it’s fun, the Tarot listens to us, wants to help us, and responds. 

Consult the Tarot

The Beating Narcissism Course

This course is for clarification. The course cuts through the online memes, colloquialisms, and idioms. Get a clear understanding about abuse; especially manipulation. Abuse is not automatically narcissistic abuse. Personality…

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The "Get The Focus On YOU!" Video Course

It's YOUR time now!

No more managing his emotions. No more managing for the calm, the peace. No more managing for his sex gratification. No more taking care of EVERYTHING like it is solely your job. Time to focus on you!

In progress

When we are financially dependent, we are not independent.

We may operate as if we are independent. The narcissistic abuser may give us some extra links in the chain. That said, the threat the narcissistic and/or histrionic abuser consistently hangs over our heads of taking everything away from us i.e., kids, money, jewelry, pets, home, car, career, and leaving us destitute after living in luxury or close to it -- becomes debilitating, and devours our self-efficacy.

Once the narcissist has taken over your self-efficacy, you become so easy to control. Now they own you. Now they can isolate you. They can do and get anything they want from you because you can’t leave. They will have you apologizing for their bad behavior. They will get you to feel sorry for THEM when they are abusive, because they are, “having a bad day, week, month, season, year.” They are treating you like dirt, and you are feeling sorry for them for abusing you! This is absurd! But they are the master manipulators. Before you realize it, you are guilty of all of this. It’s all about managing them; taking care of THEIR needs and emotions, while doing everything in your being to, “keep the peace, the calm.” You and what is best for you, is now out of the equation. Your life is over. You are now invisible. And they absolutely thrive in seeing you in this pain and turmoil. Now they get to rescue you. They feel like a god: almighty and all powerful. But their god is evil. Once you understand bullies, and what big, damaged, little babies these abusers really are, your power is going to come raging back and you will become financially independent again! Schedule your private, confidential session with me to learn more.  

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Yvette The Coach M.A., Certified Master Life Coach, Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse Expert, Divorce and Financial Coach

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