Yvette The Coach M.A., CMLC, CDC Master Life Coach, Narcissistic Emotional Abuse Expert & Certified Divorce Coach

Do you ever wonder if you are the only one in your socio-economic realm being abused?

I can tell you right now, YOU ARE NOT

Do you feel like the narcissistic NPD, HPD, BPD, emotional, gaslighting, manipulative, and controlling abuser in your world is an average person or are they a high-profile, upscale earner, in your community? Does everyone think this narcissist, this abusive person is somehow special, quite charming and more sophisticated, while you know they are the cruelest, most unkind, abusive, gaslighting, ego-maniac, often porn addicted, sex addicted, alcohol addicted, biggest monsters anyone could ever know? Your hair is falling out, your mouth is dry all the time, they deny you sleep that you so desperately need, they gaslight you until you are so exasperated you are ready to pull THEIR hair out! They coerce you for sex after they’ve said the most hideous things anyone has ever said to you, and then they arrange a fabulous vacation for the two or you or the family. They feel no remorse and will never hear you or understand your feelings. (Actually they do hear you and they do understand you. They just don’t care, but that’s another lesson).

What I do

Narcissistic/emotional abuse support coaching counseling for targets/victims of people with Personality Disorders: NPD (narcissistic personality disorder, HPD (histrionic personality disorder), BPD (borderline personality disorder), Bi-polar disorder, Depression, Manipulators, Gaslighters, Hostile partners, IPV (intimate partner violence).

  • Divorce coaching
  • Financial coaching
  • General Life coaching
  • Courses, videos
  • The Emerging Phoenix Society – in development

What do you know about Narcissistic Abuse, Gaslighting, Manipulation, IPV, DV?

My guess is those around you believe that if you are not being punched in the face or choked, then you are not being abused. 

Take this free training video to learn more.

So you've never been punched in the face. I'll bet you've been blocked by his physical body from leaving a room that you desperately wanted to get out of to get away from him...

Who are these extremely hostile, financially successful, high-profile, narcissistic, bi-polar, histrionic abusers, these big babies, these big bullies, these porn addicted, sex addicted, rage addicted, alcohol addicted, pill popping, domestic violence (DV), intimate partner violence (IPV) perpetrators?

Ahhh, here is where it becomes so tricky. These egregious monsters, if true narcissists, can be anyone, and they are often adored and praised in the community. And… they are quite financially successful and of a high-profile such as: CEOs, Investment Bankers, High-Profile Lawyers, Judges, Surgeons, Politicians, Clergy, Entertainers, Actors, Singers, Musicians, Successful Business Owners, Board Chairs, Managing Partners, School Superintendents, Police Officers, Police Chiefs, Fire Chiefs and Firefighters, Judges, News Casters or anyone who seeks lots of attention and spot lights of various sorts. Surprised? Well you are not alone. Many people think abusers are those of misfortune. That is not true of narcissists. They enjoy grand opportunities, the highest profile, and affluence. Not all of them have the full personality disorder, NPD. But the ones who do usually have several personality disorders or traits along with bi-polar depression, OCD, anxiety, disorderly eating, and addiction to just about anything they do.

Narcissistic abusers hate good communicators. Narcissists see them as a threat. How dare people be better at something than the narcissist! They must divide and conquer. Narcissistic abusers will communicate with their superiors at work but not with their personal partners. Personal partners are for service only. Narcissistic abusers do not communicate and/or co—operate with personal partners. If they appear to be, don’t be fooled. You are being manipulated for future service.

“A good relationship test is how a person responds to the word 'NO.' Love respects 'No.' Control does not.” - - Dr. Henry Cloud

Gaslighting Abuse

Gaslighting is a psychological, emotional form of abuse, a specific type of manipulation that is corrosive, incendiary. It is designed to erode the self-efficacy of the target. The power the abuser wields in… 

Financial Abuse & Dependence

Money is power in the lives of the narcissistic abuser. The abuser will often inflict the inequities of finances to gain control in the relationship. This age old tactic…

Narcissistic Cycle of Abuse

The Cycle of Abuse has 3 stages or phases. The narcissistic and/or histrionic cycle has an additional stage: The Eerie Calm – Extracting Empathy phase. The cycle goes round and…

Coerced Sex

Coerced sex is an often overlooked abuse when it is happening in a so-called “relationship.” It is part of IPV and is detrimental to the wellness of the target. The target is bullied, guilted and shamed into accepting…

Smothering

Smothering is an exhausting side effect of the NPD and/or HPD abuser. The target becomes convinced — via the abuser’s deliberate lack of respect — that the abuser doesn’t understand or “get” boundaries. This is a tremendous…

Isolation

Isolation is utilized by the abuser over time so that the target doesn’t get an encompassing view of the abuser’s agenda. It is one of the most favored manipulation tactics of abusers other than gaslighting. Isolating provides the abuser with immense…

Loving the Narcissistic Abuser Will Make YOU Disappear

Are you more concerned about leaving him helpless than feeling well yourself?

First, I want to remind you that the narcissistic abuser is never helpless. They will replace you! Please remember that. All that worrying about them is a way for your ego to keep you from focusing on YOU and addressing YOU and your life. Have you lost the ability to make simple decisions with confidence? Does nothing bring you joy anymore? Have you dove in to your kids lives because you can’t focus on you anymore? You are disappearing and the narcissistic abuser loves this! You must get the focus back on you!

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Loving the Narcissistic Abuser Will Make YOU Disappear

First, I want to remind you that the narcissistic abuser is never helpless. They will replace you! Please remember that. All that worrying about them is a way for your ego to keep you from focusing on YOU and addressing YOU and your life. Have you lost the ability to make simple decisions with confidence? Does nothing bring you joy anymore? Have you dove in to your kids life because you can’t focus on you anymore? You are disappearing and the narcissistic abuser loves this! You must get the focus back on you!

On another note, while we’re at it here, your partner’s romantic biological needs are never YOUR responsibility, ever, for any reason. The responsibility is theirs. Always. It is THEIR responsibility to create a healthy and well environment that fosters those romantic biological needs getting met, and if they are incapable of that, well…that certainly is not of problem of yours! They have to figure it out, and not on your time. And same for you. Remember this. You are not on this planet to serve them, and serve them no matter what they do to you. 

The narcissistic abuser has never been concerned about you or your feelings. He has never worried about you feeling sad. He has never worried about how much pain he is causing you. He has never worried about the damage his drunken and not drunken rages have done to your psyche, your self-efficacy, your well-being, and very soul. So it is time for you to stop being concerced about them! Oh, I know he tells you his whole world is about you. He will especially play this card when you tell him he is being hurtful to you. No way he’s going to take responsibility for his behavior. He boo-hoos with conviction, “How can you say I am hurtful or cruel when I provide you with every luxury in the world? And…

Let's Talk Finances and Divorcing a Narcissist (NPD) or a Histrionic (HPD)!

Money is everything in these situations. Ok. Did I just make you shudder? I’m sorry about that. Yes, money is the whole big deal. The biggest and best way for someone with personality disorders to get control over you is by threatening to take away your financial security. Whew! It makes my hair stand on end just writing it. Losing your financial security disrupts the entire ecological system of your life. What did you just think of when you read “entire ecological system?” Abusers absolutely revel in the expansive disruption of every aspect of your being the economic abuse affords them. You completely and profoundly out of balance is like the Mardi Gras to these abusers. They debilitate you and rescue you. Debilitate, rescue. Whomever has the most money in the relationship has the best shot at the power. Equal partnership? I know no man who truly wants this. This doesn’t mean there are no male genders who will play by equality rules. Some will. Not many really want to. What abusers really want is you drug down into a chaotic mess so you can’t leave them and they can feed on you. It will never change. Kids or no kids…get out. I can help. Schedule with me up top in the right hand corner. 

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Yvette The Coach Programs...

The Prosperity Practice

It’s time to get the focus on you. You have spent so much time managing the horrible abuser, you have disappeared. What do you really want after all of this? What…

The Emerging Phoenix Society

After all the cruelty, hostility, PTSD, guilt, shame, and blame…you are probably ready for some education, comfort, healing, relief, support, and maybe even a mission or purpose. This exclusive group is like you. They too could not…

The Beating Narcissism Course

This course is for clarification. The course cuts through the online memes, colloquialisms, and idioms. Get a clear understanding about abuse; especially manipulation. Abuse is not automatically narcissistic abuse. Personality…

The "Get The Focus On YOU!" Video Course

It's YOUR time now!

No more managing his emotions. No more managing for the calm, the peace. No more managing for his sex gratification. No more taking care of EVERYTHING like it is solely your job. Time to focus on you!

When we are financially dependent, we are not independent.

We may operate as if we are independent. The narcissistic abuser may give us some extra links in the chain. That said, the threat the narcissistic and/or histrionic abuser consistently hangs over our heads of taking everything away from us i.e., kids, money, jewelry, pets, home, car, career, and leaving us destitute after living in luxury or close to it -- becomes debilitating, and devours our self-efficacy.

Once the narcissist has taken over your self-efficacy, you become so easy to control. Now they own you. Now they can isolate you. They can do and get anything they want from you because you can’t leave. They will have you apologizing for their bad behavior. They will get you to feel sorry for THEM when they are abusive, because they are, “having a bad day, week, month, season, year.” They are treating you like dirt, and you are feeling sorry for them for abusing you! This is absurd! But they are the master manipulators. Before you realize it, you are guilty of all of this. It’s all about managing them; taking care of THEIR needs and emotions, while doing everything in your being to, “keep the peace, the calm.” You and what is best for you, is now out of the equation. Your life is over. You are now invisible. And they absolutely thrive in seeing you in this pain and turmoil. Now they get to rescue you. They feel like a god: almighty and all powerful. But their god is evil. Once you understand bullies, and what big, damaged, little babies these abusers really are, your power is going to come raging back and you will become financially independent again! Schedule your private, confidential session with me to learn more.  

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